You are not lost.

A dream:  "My sister and I were in a deep, round, dirt pit.  We were both filthy from trying to climb our way out.  The walls were muddy and we had given up.  I sat down in total defeat.  I heard some russling at the top and looked up.  It was Jesus!  He lay on his belly, with his head and shoulders showing (from my view) over the top of the pit.  He reached down... as far as He could - stretching with His whole body - reaching for me.  He said, "Grab my hand" I stood up quick and reached my hand up as high as I could, but it seemed a chasm between us.  There was absolutely no way he was going to reach me and vise versa.  He kept saying, "Come up higher.... come up higher." He kept repeating that over and over, "Come up higher".  In my mind (in the dream), I thought 'are you crazy' - 'why can't you do the stretch-armstrong thing?'  My dream ended.  I was confused as to why He didn't save me.  Later that day, I relayed the dream to a close friend, explaining that I didn't understand.  She said, "Brenda, Jesus is the Word. Grab onto the Word."  I was floored.  But, I did just that.  I had an old compilation of about 30 scriptures from about 15 years ago, "Who I am in Christ".  I got that sheet out - and my Bible - and dug in.  I dug in hard.  My life was falling apart - with so much brokenness.  I had no other choice.  It was either God or other alternatives the world provides. "